hello Door, my old nemesis

I read an article this week on anxiety and how it affects those who suffer from it.  I happen to be one of those.  I did not even realise that I was suffering from it until for one week I kept putting off going to the market and when I did go out I had the runs just before I went out.  it happened again and again and I kept telling my sister that I my runs did not seem to be stopping despite my elimination of all the foods that usually give me the runs.  She looked at me and said, I think your runs are caused by anxiety because you only get them when you are about to leave the house.

That moment changed my life.  Once I was aware of the cause of my early morning runs, they stopped. I still get anxious when I have to get out of the house.  I will not get any sleep the night before and I will be jumpy all day. Once I had to go to the doctor’s office and I could not get my feet out the door for three days. I would wake up early, shower, eat and then dress and I would just sit there and stare at the door.  Then I would take off my shoes and tell myself  “ I will go tomorrow”. My sister must have realised something  was wrong because she called one of her friends and told her to come pick me up.

It is easy to judge when you are on the other side but on this side just stepping out and locking the door behind you feels like a great accomplishment.

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